It wants brains….....

Nemesis....

Obviously not content with having eaten half my garden, the snails want in! I can say with some authority that it is more than a little disturbing to see snails gradually covering all the windows of your home. Of course I don’t mind snails per se and I certainly wouldn’t kill them, but some sort of action needs to be taken. In a previous blog post about Natural Ways To Control Slugs And Snails I listed a few ‘Gastropod Friendly’ solutions. None of them has worked. Not even the fancy snail tape I bought from The Green Gardener. Not that it’s the Green Gardener’s fault – in fact for a few of my friends it has been extremely helpful. I think the snails in my garden are made of sterner stuff.

In my efforts to lesson the damage done to my plants I tried:

Coffee Grounds – the snails, hyped up on copious amounts caffeine, ate double the amount of plants. It was a bad idea.

Porridge Oats – the slow release of complex carbohydrates meant that the snails had more energy and therefore ate more of my garden. I also discovered that oats are good for the libido – maybe that’s why I kept finding so many snails laying eggs in my pots. Ugh!

Beer – I would rather drink it myself.

Dried Egg Shells – I have a feeling they enjoy the irony of ‘walking on eggshells’ around me. I can appreciate that.

Snail Tape – aside from the fact that I cut my fingers on it and it kept sticking to my hands, shoes, trousers and face (don’t ask) this tape had some sort of magnetic draw which resulted in large clusters of snails congregating for impromptu ‘mollusk parties’. Although I provided the nibbles I was not invited.

At the moment I am still picking them off the pots, plants, walls and ground and chucking them into the far hedge. Eventually they make their way back. A few weeks ago I bought 19 marigolds which were completely decimated in 2 days. One marigold seems to have survived but I am not sure for how long. They say April showers bring May flowers, but in this case all the April showers have done is bring snails. We have had an enormous amount of rainfall in the UK over the past few months. My garden is behaving differently as a result – my sweetpeas have barely grown and my pepper plants aren’t doing anything either. Of course the snails haven’t helped.

If anyone has any advice or suggestions on how to humanely get rid of snails I would be eternally grateful. Otherwise I may scrap the garden and just open a snail safari instead.

WARNING! The images below are not for the faint hearted.

The gallery of sadness

Marigold Sadness

Another Sad Marigold

It makes me weep

It hurts....It huuuuurts!

The one that got away